Wednesday, February 28, 2007

One Year

Another oldie from Caringbridge...


12 Insights from the Past 12 Months

1 year
of a diagnosis…

12 months
of questions…

52 weeks
to ponder…

365 days
to absorb…

8760 hours
to decide…

525,600 minutes
to embrace…

31,536,000 seconds
to not fall apart…

…that is what life is like when your child is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. It’s been a year...and in the past 12 months we have changed a bit, grown a bit, shattered a bit, and healed a bit. We have also learned a bit.

I hope you don’t mind if I share 12 insights that I have learned from the past 12 months.

I now understand
that I am never more than two seconds away from a meltdown.

The strange thing is…it’s not even brain tumors or VHL that makes me cry. It’s the little things. This past year I have become unglued over a flat tire, a lost bracelet, dinner that burned, the weeks that Dale’s company decided to work four days, mold, getting lost in Tampa, and a scorched shirt – to name a few.

Strange, but true.

I realize
that my husband and I are from different planets.

I have been shown
that constant stress does horrible things to a persons mind and body

I now know
more about brain tumors and VHL than I would ever want to admit.

(So I'm not willing to admit just how much I know!)

I believe
that we must find a cure for this disease.

I also believe that a cure can be found. We need this hope

I realize
that we walk among angels.

The kindness and generosity shown to our family over the past year has been humbling. The dinners, gift cards, Arsenal shirts, phone calls and up lifting emails have been amazing. This heart-felt compassion is a great healing balm, and it has soothed my weary soul on so, so many nights.

(A small caveat…it is possible to go an entire year and never cook! )

I see now
that my son is Strong. He is Powerful, Great and Determined. He embodies Grace. He has never whimpered from the treatments nor cowered from the reality of this disease. I am amazed by his ever-present smile. I am awed by his desire to still save the world before he saves himself.

I understand now
that our lives have a purpose. Most have to search for their purpose, but I believe that Steven has been shown his. There is a reason Steven has VHL. I hope that one day he will turn tragedy into triumph and greatly impact the lives of others because of this adversity.

I now realize
That you can't live FOR the big moments, but instead you have to live IN the small moments.

Each each day that the sun rises, each second that you take a breath, and each moment that you spend with a loved one are the blessings of life.

That is a full life.

I have seen
that we don’t always get what we want.

I have always known this in a small, insignificant way. (I do have three siblings, and now with a husband and three children…well!)

Now I know this to be true in a big, huge way. I just want my child to be healthy…and I can’t have it…ever.

I still believe
that we are in control of our own happiness and attitude.

I cherish
our faith and beliefs.

Without it, we would be totally, absolutely lost. But with this faith, we can rise and face each day with a smile.

12 months...

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