Because I am perfect, my house is always pristine, my husband and I never argue, and my children are wickedly smart future Olympians who always brush their teeth, I have NO shocking revelations to admit today.
In fact, just to let you know how perfectly perfect and wonderfully wonderful we are, I should tell you that...
This week our dog DID NOT eat another pair of pink slippers.
Not another pair!
We DID NOT take any signs!
My eleven year old daughter DID NOT just tell me that ice cream will soon be made with breast milk. She also DID NOT state that breast milk ice cream is a great idea because then we could save the lives of many cows. And I DID NOT smile and ask her if she really thinks that cows are killed for ice cream. And she DID NOT respond, in all seriousness, that cows are injured in the process, so it might be better to use breast milk.
My middle child DID NOT come up with 102 illicit ways to pass math this year.
Today two of my children DID NOT argue about the value of the life of an ant. They DID NOT beg me to offer a comment or decide who was correct, and I DID NOT succumb to their clandestine plan.
My husband DID NOT leave phone numbers and notes for me so that I could follow through with the one task that I asked him to do this week.
I DID NOT spend six dollars for five apples.
A child of mine DID NOT try to clip his toenails with scissors this week!
I DID NOT have to help with the assets, liabilities, debits and credits in an accounting assignment and the addition and subtraction of negative and positive integers on the same night...at the same time! And this DID NOT confuse my already perfectly addled brain!
My sweet boy DID NOT complain of a headache that has lasted for two days and wasn't relieved by over-the-counter pain medications.
Ouch and Oh dear!